Thousand Faces of Love
by K. M. Smith
Summary: Our entire lives are filled with love.Love can catch us anywhere and anytime with thousand different faces.Katy Stevens is on the verge of the biggest opportunity of her life: as an actress, she has just been casted to the leading role of her she realizes that her partner on the scene was going to be played by Robert Thomas, an idol to millions of women including her.
1. Chapter 1 part 1

"**These are the kind of things you cannot talk about.**

**These are things remain a secret even if they are unveiled in detail.**

**All we can do is to live through them and to evoke them **

**so they live inside me forever."**

**Sándor Márai **

**Chapter 1**

Since I was a kid acting was my everything. I wanted to become an actress ever since I can remember. I always played; I wanted to become someone else, sometimes because my life didn't offer enough excitement another time because I want to express how much I feel inside. I wanted to be in the spotlight, I wanted to shine, to be adored. I wanted the light go on for me. Standing in the light enjoying the applause with my eyes closed…. how many times have I dreamed about all this.

Theater was more for me, than simple distraction, or a good program. Theater had its own smell and unimaginable feeling. My teenage years were guided by these colors, smells and faces.

So nobody was surprised when I started to study acting. I was 17. I've learned to act; to play to use my body. As I had more and more appearance I've received more and more offers. When I was 25 I've caught myself playing in a theatre, leading roles. Finally, I'm standing there, with my eyes closed enjoying the applause. My life is about theatre, rehearsal in the morning, performance in the evening after them having beer with Krisz until dawn. Like peas and carrots ...

It's Friday night. The schedule is the same. Krisz, beer.. a perfect combo. But tonight we aren't playing but him. The new star of the theatre, girls' dream and mine as well. We watched the performance, God knows how many times; it was fantastic again and sexy. Like his girlfriend. She waited for him after the performance in the Arts Café.

-They are together again –Krisz looks at me with resignation.

Not if this matter for Tom, it is known he is always ready for a bang. From everyone… except for me.

It was never about moral, neither in my case. I'm hopelessly in love again, and I believe I will be the WOMAN in his life to tame him. Ok, ok I don't believe this either, but if felt good to think about it, even just for a second.

I desire love. Love, which is deep, passionate and sweeps away everything. For me, sex was never that important, it didn't really concern me, probably because I was never able to live it through. But I always had the feeling deep inside of me, that this should be different, like get lost with someone, get lost in someone, be lustful, sexy, get and give pleasure. Is this a dream too? Or a role? I have no one to play with.

The beer is bittersweet in my mouth, Krisz, friends, smoky place. We saved the world again, many times today. We were talking about theatre, role, dreams, we are loud and shocking. But we don't care, because we have secrets.

Our laugh was interrupted by my phone's ringing. A strange female voice spoke.

-Katy Stevens?

-Yes, it's me-I answered hesitating. Two years ago, when my mother's English husband died, I've changed my name and took his to honor him. I considered him always as my father, not the first husband of my mother, who lived with us till I was 5. Then he took off with a younger girl.

-Greetings, I'm Laura from SP casting. I'm searching in my head fast after names, places… yes, there it is. I've applied by them for a job; they have made a portfolio about me.

-Your portfolio has been selected Katy – Laure gabbles further, as someone who says the same for the thousand time. You should go for a casting. Can you take a job now?

-Of course -I said without hesitation.

-The casting is tomorrow in London.

-London? – I discredited.

-Yes, unfortunately we were told also only now. But all the cost are covered of course. Can you go anyway?

-What is to know about the casting?

-This is an American feature film, with the title _Memory. _The casting is for the female leading role, you are selected to cast for that.

Damn it, leading role of a US movie…. My legs tremble, I'm dizzy. I need to concentrate to hear what she says. I make fast notes about the important date, tomorrow morning at the airport, then in London they wait for me, and take to the place via cab.

I'm overjoyed, my friends are happy for me. What an opportunity, unique experiences, it doesn't matter whether I win the role or not. Only the fact, that I can be there is enough. I say goodbye, I need to rest. Certainly I can't sleep, I'm too excited. I have the feeling it will be a wonderful unique day!


	2. Chapter 1 part 2

I get up early, simple jeans and a pretty top, I wash my hair and leave them untied, parted on the side and pours smoothly on my shoulders. I'm heading to the airport with dash of make-up and my mother's worrying.

This is the first time I fly, it would be fascinating if I wouldn't be so worried about the movie.

I taste its title … _Memory… _and dream, dreaming isn't hard at all flying free between the earth and sky. I dream about flashlights, applause, lights, Hollywood, and a little golden figure… _no-no-no wait, this is already too far._

-Miss Stevens? Your cab is waiting outside.

The car is large, a real London cab. I get in. like a movie star… the line between dreams and reality disappears slowly. Which, I have to say is never too craggy in my case. Somewhere deep inside of me a feeling is wakening, it's not enough to be there, I have to win.

We pass over the city and arrive finally at the casting. That is an unfeatured building with a large hall within. Barely about 50 people are there with me. …. _Damn, how could you imagine, that you'd be alone here! _Fifty almost identical girls, I see now, they were looking for a character. Everybody has long brown hair, with brown eyes as far as I can say. A woman walks to me and gives me a number: 32 and a text about 2 sides.

-You have about 1 hour to prepare, please learn the text within this hour, you will be called at that door. Thank you! - Then she walked away.

The first girl was called in after one and a half hour. She wasn't in for more than 10 minutes and the next was called in… it is really fast. I was getting more excited. Not far away from 10-15 girls are talking with those, who already came out, I sneak there for some information.

-Yes, I'm serious, he is here as well. He is in watching the casting. Don't be concerned with him, he is an asshole. He is talking on the phone, doesn't even look at you. He merely welcomes you and doesn't pay attention only just for a second when you enter the room. He is looking like he would decide at that moment if he is interested in you or not. Said a girl very nervous, several of the others agree. Who are they talking about?

- Irrespectively of this live he is more beautiful simply stunning! Girls, you can't be angry at him! – Now I really want to know, who they are talking about.

- Who are you talking about?- I interrupted.

-Rob Thomas! Didn't you know, he will be here as well? They didn't tell you? He is the male leading actor. They are looking for a partner for him –I gasped for breath, even my heart missed a beat. Oh my God, I can't believe this! I've heard much of him. I know he is a very talented actor, people are crazy for him since his last movie, and thousands of women would die for him. That's the reason, why is the casting in London.

My head is full with information, let's see, the press and the paparazzi tear him apart for a photo. He's 27, earned 9 billion with his last movie, he is the best paid actor in Hollywood, he was the sexiest man of this year according to _People_, everyone wants him.

Oh my God, if I could play next to him in a movie! What an opportunity! As I heard he is big scumbag, who lost his mind from himself!

A girl is coming out crying.

- It's simply humiliating. He doesn't even look at you. Girls he was posting on Facebook, while I was bleeding out! - She was crying.

Ouch! I will put him in his place! What does he think? I spend hours with traveling and waiting, while he is talking on the phone. No! He must have 5 minutes for me from his precious time! He won't die due to paying attention. Yes, I will tell him all these. Anger was festering. I decided I won't let this screwed up star to ruin the big moment of my life

-Nr. 32 please come in!

Jeez! It's me! My legs trembled, but my anger is still there, moreover it helped me walk, I was determined, when I entered the room. As they said, Rob was trifling with his phone. I opened my mouth to speak, but in the very moment he looked at me, his fingers stopped, and he put away his phone and stared at me. Exceptionally I set aside my diatribe.


	3. Chapter 1 part 3

- Good afternoon Miss Stevens! Please, come inside! Let me introduce the movie's director Allah Couther, the producer Christin Scott and the male leading actor, who is also our producer Robert Thomas. Please stand in front of the camera and introduce yourself! – said the woman I've received my number from earlier. I stand before the camera, it's cramping a little bit and I don't know where to look at them or the camera, damn it, I should have ask that too from the girls before me.

- Just to talk to us. I hope we can thee? –asks Rob. His voice is calm, silent and slows my heart-beat at the moment. I have a curious feeling, like I've heard that voice before, like he'd talk to me since ages. His voice is unique due to his English-American accent. I've learned only later, that he speaks very rarely with his pure English accent, because he feels like his soul would be naked. I nod with a smile. Rob searches among the files and a half smile appears at his face when he finally finds what he was looking for. I see now, that is my file. He has an inquiring look. I start, introducing myself; say a couple of things about myself, my previous jobs. But I can't take my eyes off him. How interesting, he makes me feel like I'd cry if he wouldn't pay attention to me, but he's looking at me. What is more, he doesn't take his eyes off me! He is listening, with interest. After I finished my short CV Allan, the director turns to me.

- Katy, were you able to learn the text, we gave you?

- Yes - I answered.

- Great, then let's start!

I have to play a part from the movie. Ally is out for the night and her father is waiting for her impatiently to come home. As Ally gets home, she walks towards her father apologetically. But then she sees her secret diary on the table and gets in a thundering rage.

Allan, the director is recording the scene with a hand-held camera:

- All right Katy, now I want to take the changes at your face, how you create rage from regret and guilt! – Allan leans close to me with the camera watching all my moves. – Thanks, that's it! – he says couple of minutes later, then he walks to the table, talks to Rob and they nod. - All right Katy, we'll re-watch the records, please wait outside so long!

The lobby is almost silent, everybody is in their thoughts. I have this strange feeling, filled with fear and excitement. I don't know what they are looking for; all I know is that I did my best. But what is that enough for, I have no idea.

- Those who hear their name entered the second round! For the rest, thank you for participating! – says the woman who gave the numbers 30 minutes later. My palms are sweating, I'm nervous and biting my lips. The woman says the names but not mine and finishes. I don't hear my name. I become empty due to the frustration and pain; I'm staring in front of me with disbelief. This is it? I didn't even make it to the second round. But I felt, I was good… but not good enough, not for America. How could I even imagine I would have? I'm sorry for the lost opportunity, the escaping dreams and for him.


	4. Chapter 1 part 4

- Oh, sorry, I missed someone, - the woman turns back – Katy Stevens, You can stay as well! - She says, and disappears behind the door. I stood gaping at her; I aged 5 years in 1 minute.

After a half an hour I'm standing in the room again facing them, I can't make a mistake, this will decide everything.

- Can we start? – asks Allen, and I nod with a smile on my face.

- I'll make the cue! – screams Rob, a little more enthusiastic than he should, everybody is shocked.

- All right - says the director, with disbelief in his voice.

We start the scene; the camera takes all my moves, he raises and walks to me. I have a very distinct impression, filled with fear and admiration. He's so tall, moves with ease so I can't even see when he takes a step. The stage fright that haunted me since the morning is gone, like it wasn't there at all. It seems there is no one else just him and me. The scene plays in a university canteen, where Taylor the male leading actor walks to Ally and asks her out.

I feel I'm good now, I had some mistakes in the text but I corrected them. He plays so easily next to me, he is a pro. The scene has ended, Rob sits back without a word he was looking for the director, they eyes met and nodded.

- Thank you Katy very much. Can you stay for a half an hour more? – asks the director.

- Yes - I answered, my flight takes off only in 3 hours.

- Please wait so long in the lobby! - said this fussy, number giving woman.

I leave the room and take a look at my watch. Jeez I was in there for 20 minutes, the others only 5-10 minutes. What could that mean? Everybody looks at me with interest, but in the moment I'd open my mouth I hear the door opening behind me and the next girl is called in. I don't look back, I go further. Somebody touches my shoulder and I freeze, I got afraid. I turn.

- Hi! Do you smoke? – I nod.


	5. Chapter 1 part 5

- Hi! Do you smoke? – I nod.

- Want to light up? – I nod again.

- I hope you didn't lose your voice, did you? Come, the smoking area is at the end of the lobby. – I smile and follow him without a word, like I'd be under his spell. Everybody looks at us of course, and I can see in their eyes what they would do to me right now. I straighten up … _come on look at me_.

As walking behind him, I'm thinking this man is really beautiful. He has a light brown blowzy hair, I have pins and needles in my fingertips; I want to ruffle it. Like he would hear my unspoken words and ruffles his hair smoothly. Jeez, my mouth goes dry. Jeans, Nike shoes and a blue shirt; simple but still he looks amazing who his shape is visible under his clothes. As he walks I can see every move of his muscles brilliant sight.

I've been thinking about, what happened, why didn't I have stage fright, why didn't I flutter? Why is everything different, when he is around? I enjoyed playing with him, it was a really refreshing thing to do, a benefit performance, the far best experience of my acting career. I was so graceful, aerial, all the borders of my body vanished, melted, he made me complete. What do you know, what I don't? I felt the urge to solve this man, stay quiet and listen and wait, like when you see a gorgeous game and it delights you. You want to enjoy that few sweet moments; you received from it as a gift.

Meanwhile we reach that small place, which became the smoking area. Tight and smoky. He offers me a fag, we light up, my hand skims over his, don't know why, but I smile like an idiot and don't dare to look at him.

- I haven't introduced myself yet. - He says.

- You don't have to either.

- Oh, I hate this. I can't introduce myself to anyone, because everybody knows everything about me, without even talking to me - he blows the smoke out and ruffles his hair. It must be a nerve-racking habit of his, it nerves me now at least, it warms my blood.

I give him my hand impishly… _come on let's play._

- Katy Stevens – I introduce myself.

- Robert Thomas - he takes my hand.

- And, what do you do here? Are you here for the casting? - Playful wrinkles appeared in the corner of his deep blue eyes, as he laughs… he's beautiful while laughing.

- How did you feel? What do you think, how did it go? – He asked me with true interest in his eyes.

- I felt good. How did it go? Say you. If I'm right you have influence at the choice. - I'm flirty and provocative… it's unbelievable what he does with me, I never act like this.

- Not that much, than you think. But I guess we were good. – _We were good_… the words echo in my head. What should that mean, what am I supposed to do with that? My flirty me winks, let the game begin.

- It's easy to be good with you. – _Am I right, did your face flushed?_ His eyes fell, and blows the smoke edgily out. Did I go too far?

- Do you love theater? – He changes the subject. All right, let it be. I try to hide how my heart feels. This man, I got under his spell, he takes me out.

- Yes, there is something unrepeatable. You have to do magic every night, fascinate the people, and you mustn't do any mistakes because they pay off.

- Why do you want to make a movie?

- I'd like to try myself; I believe I'm much more capable of, than just theatre. I could do something else, something totally different – what kind of words, I've never talked like that…

- I really hope you will have a chance to do all this. Making a movie is different, not easy. Mostly not with me, – _Are you still talking about making a movie?_ – but that's also wonder. -he blows the smoke out.

- I should try to quit, this is just a bad habit. – I'm listening, I could listen to him for hours, his voice reassures me, makes me feel dreamy.

-You are very silent.

- No, I'm not… just… I'm in my thoughts. – What am I talking? Please don't ask about what I was thinking!

- What were you thinking about? – _You, why are you so withdrawn, are you aware of your power, what do you do to other people?_

Before I could say anything stupid, his phone rings. He picks it up nervously.

– Ok, be right there. I'm sorry Katy, but I have to go back. But I'm sure, we'll see each other! It was nice to meet you! Good luck!

- Thanks the same to you! - _Why did I wish good luck?_

He left the room, what left behind is emptiness. Why do I want to follow him, scream after him? Don't go! He doesn't look back, walks further. I scream silently: _I wish you were right and we'd meet again._


	6. Chapter 1 part 6

I go back to the lobby, and hide in a corner. I won't talk to anyone, don't want to be looked questioningly at. I'm confused. I want this movie, and I want him as well. I need to see him. No one has ever had that influence at me before. I can't take my eyes off him! I need to hear his voice again. This man grips me, and set everything on fire behind him. I wish to get to know his soul, which is perfectly hidden for others.

After a half an hour the number disposer woman came out the room, where I was a short time ago. I try to peep in the room behind her just to see him, just for a second… but I can't see him anywhere. Probably he has left already.

- Thank you for everyone for participating; the casting is over – the woman said.

Slowly and dazed I start to pack my stuff, trying to resin to the thought, that it was for me. But then Miss Number Disposer steps to me. – Katy Stevens, please come with me I'm Erika. – Oh, she has a name. I follow her, back to the room, where the casting took part. Allan, the director and Rob sit at a round table. That's the reason, why I didn't see him from outside.

- Katy, thank you for your patience – says Allan - please have a seat! – showing a chair opposite to me. Rob is busy with his phone, when I sit he looks at me.

- I told you we'll meet… - looking at me with his blue eyes.

- Katy, me and Rob, we decided, we want you to play the role of Ally … -with excitement. I'm dizzy, it's reeling, my mouth is dry and I can't find any words.

- Thank you for the opportunity – I stammer.

- Thank to yourself – Rob takes over the talking. – Your play was really impressive, that's how we imagine Ally would be. And you were by the way the only person who had that extra we were looking for since months without result. It won't be an easy job Katy, but I guess I've mentioned that already. The shooting will be in New York, according to my plans it will take 3 months. Katy, I set the pace very hard. 10-12 hours of shooting a day won't be rare either, if you agree you have to prepare for this. Not only in your soul but also in your body, you'll need good fitness. The shooting begins in one month. Unfortunately it can't be earlier because I'm working on another movie, which I hope won't delay and we can really start in a month.

- We can offer you 5 million dollars – says Allan – your contract will be sent tomorrow via email, please check it and tell me if something doesn't match! During the shooting we'll rent you an apartment in New York, and cover all your expense. Our contact will call you and you can discuss every detail. And the most important part the screenplay… I'll send it to you tomorrow in a mail. You have to know it in one month! It's important; I'm really fussy about that! – A smile is hiding in the corner of his mouth, but he tries to look peevish. I like him at the first sight, he's in his mid-fifties, and his hair is getting grey. He has heavy crinkles around his eyes. He seems to be a man who doesn't tolerate contradiction, but if he likes you, he gives his everything for you. He has a very big knowledge, and also respect, a person who lives his profession passionately. I think we'll be good at working together. I love those directors, who know what they want. They get to know their actors, all their moves and know when they need to pull back and let the actors play and also know where the limits are. I love those directors I can look up to, who can control my body, as I'm the puppet and he moves me. I think Allan is this kind of a man. As his eyes meet with Rob's, they seem to be two people who know each other very well. I don't know if they have ever worked together, but obviously Allan knows all whiffle of Rob, there's harmony between them, I'm jealous.

- Katy we'll meet in a month! – Rob stands up from his seat and offers his hand.

- I can't wait! – I say, and look directly in his face. I see questions there, many unanswered questions. He presses my hand very hard, our eyes interweave.

"_Now I can't see you for a long while, although I can't take my eyes off you."_


End file.
